Friday, July 16th: 25th Annual MDA Freedom Ride!
Experience the 25th Annual MDA Freedom Ride with Madison's #1 Biker Band!
Friday night is party night!
Johnny Rocker & The High Rollers perform live to benefit the Muscular Dystrophy Association.
Camping is available at VFW Park for those participating in the ride. The show is open to the public.
Justino and friends will be camping at the park (in other words, partying all night), so be sure your precious little ass gets a nap before you come out!
Thanks to our friends at Sauk Prairie Harley-Davidson, Inc., The Muscular Dystrophy Association, and the Sauk Prairie H.O.G. Chapter.
For more details, click here!
25 Spankings: Justino's FREE Birthday Show!
Since Justino turned 18 years old, he has dished out spankings to Johnny Rocker & The High Rollers fans all across the Midwest. On Friday, June 11th, his fans will pay back the favor! Join The High Rollers when they introduce Justino to 25 birthday spankings!
Friday, June 11, 2010 (9pm-2am)
Hody Bar & Grill
Middleton, WI
FREE SHOW!
www.hodybar.com
Double the Head, Double the Fun!
Johnny Rocker & The High Rollers DOUBLE HEADER Saturday!
4:00pm-5:00pm - Worlds Largest Brat Fest - Quench Gum Main Stage
Alliant Energy Center/Willow Island
1202 Northport Drive
Madison, WI 53704
www.bratfest.com
9:00pm-1:00am - The Badger Bowl
506 E Badger Rd
Madison, WI 53713
www.badgerbowl.com
As you all know, The High Rollers are known for their inappropriate stage banter, juvenile senses of humor, and degenerate antics. It appears that organizers of World's Largest Brat Fest were one step of ahead of the band. Included in the contract, which was entered into by Johnny Rocker & The High Rollers and Brat Fest, it states:
"Artists are encouraged to shamelessly self-promote any and all of their wares, provided they are appropriate for a family atmosphere...In consideration of this, the performer agrees that the show will be family appropriate in all ways and respects."
(Justino says, "Let me make something clear! THE PANTS ARE COMING OFF, AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME!)
Therefore, The Worlds Largest Brat Fest will be a recital of only the most refined Johnny Rocker & The High Rollers repertoire. The Badger Bowl will certainly be X Rated, as usual.
Rocker Rally this Wednesday!
Join us for the first ever "Rocker Rally" this Wednesday (April 21st) at Scatz! This will be the first of a series of appearances by Johnny Rocker & The High Rollers at Scatz throughout the summer.
*Free Show, 9pm-1am*
Ground rules for the "Rocker Rally":
-If it's your birthday, expect a good spanking
-No biting, pinching, hair pulling, etc. (unless otherwise approved by Justino)
-No indoor burnouts (Johnny's incident last year almost got us sued)
-No direct eye contact with the bouncers. They will kill you.
-Fans are expected to remember the naked spot of the evening. If you step into it, you have an obligation.
-Don't say "I have to work tomorrow". Dr. McGillicuddy will be writing notes for everyone to get out of work Thursday.
-The men's bathroom is for penises and the women's bathroom is for vaginas (with exception to trans-gender individuals in which case there is some legal grey area).
-No puking
-Nobody goes home alone
-If you're dancing on stage, and there's a more attractive person dancing behind you, make room for visibility.
-Pants are optional
"Bad Saturday" @ The Riley Tavern
Ever wonder why Good Friday exists? It's because of "Bad Saturday". And nobody does "Bad Saturday" like Johnny Rocker & The High Rollers. Everyone will be talking about this show Easter morning!
Top Ten ways Johnny Rocker & The High Rollers would spend Easter Eve if they weren't with you at The Riley:
10. Playing "Slap the Bunny"
9. Seeing who can lay a bigger egg
8. Smoking the Easter Grass
7. Hosting a 5-man naked Easter parade down the Beltline
6. Watching EWTN and taking a shot every time they say "Jesus Christ"
5. Ordering through the Taco Bell drive-thru dressed as the Easter Bunny
4. Decorating Jeff's Easter Tree with used jock straps
3. Celebrating Passover
2. Crucifying Justino and resurrecting him from the dead.
1. Competing at "Chubby Bunny" with Peeps
See you all Saturday at The Riley Tavern in Verona, WI! 9pm
Justino w/ The Chuck E. Cheese Band
Free Show this Friday: Legends in Madison, WI, 9pm-1am
A few months back, Johnny got a phone call from an old friend who invited us to perform at Legends in Madison, WI. Set up in the corner of the large club, we played the entire night, and drank. And drank. And drank. And drank.
6 am rolls around, and Justino wakes up on the floor of Cowboy's living room. Justino says, "Mike, what in the hell happened!?" Mike says, "Dude, you used your saxophone as a beer bong."
In disbelief of what he had done, Justino calls Jeff. "Jeff, what did I do?!" He said, "Justino, you did the longest beer slide I've ever seen! They slicked the entire bar up with beer, and you just slid right down it!"
Wanting to get an honest, sober opinion, Justino calls Scott. Justino says, "What happened at the bar?!" He said, "You're not going to believe this, but you were shooting bottle rockets out of your pants in the parking lot."
Justino was distraught that he couldn't remember what had happened that night. Justino calls Johnny and says, "Johnny! I don't remember what I did last night! Mike says I did a beer bong with my sax. Jeff says I was doing beer slides. And Scott says I was firing bottle rockets out of my pants. What happened!?"
Johnny said, "Justino, calm down. You did what you do every night. You drank beer out of your shoe, danced like a leprechaun, drunk dialed your grandma, whisker rubbed with a large burly man, did shots from between the bartender's legs, got in a fight with the urinal in the mens room, tried surfing on top of Scott's truck, hid scared under a table, streaked through the kitchen, introduced Jeff as your girlfriend to the club owner, made a police officer cry, walked like an Egyptian, lit your tongue on fire, mooned a hospital transport bus, and went across the street to Chuck E. Cheese where you mistook the band for The High Rollers. You played an entire set with them, Justino!"
Shockingly, the owner and staff were impressed, and Legends has invited us back for another show! Since our last visit, the club has added a stage and house lights. The show this Friday will be an all out party! And best of all, it's FREE FREE FREE! This is the event of the weekend. Don't miss it!
Exclusive Tracks from "The Wisconsin Guys" Show!
It's Heating Up in Thailand!
Johnny Rocker & The High Rollers wants you to know that we are taking a little band vacation basking in the sun on the shores of Thailand, learning some new songs, and heating up for our big Spring Break show at the Club Tavern on March 20th! It turns out, we're huge over here! Justino can't even get a good hooker without being asked for an autograph! Well, we'll see you all real soon. Until then, keep checking out our website for new additions!
Live on WTDY, Madison, WI
This Friday, February 12th, Johnny Rocker and the High Rollers will be in the studio with Wisconsin's favorite gentlemen Dan and Kurt, "The Wisconsin Guys", for 30 minutes of exclusive live music and interviews on 1670 WTDY, Madison, WI. Music and interviews start at 5:30pm, following The Dennis Miller show.
Visit www.wtdy.com to listen live!
The program is set to air just hours before Johnny Rocker & The High Rollers' long awaited return to The Dry Bean in Madison, WI.
Update: Johnny Rocker returns to Dry Bean!
This Friday night, February 12th @ The Dry Bean in Madison, WI!
Johnny Rocker & The High Rollers return to the Dry Bean after several years of banishment due to unruly behavior on the part of Justino.
Following the final performance at The Bean, Justino performed a triumphant saxophone solo in nothing but his rubber duck boxer shorts high atop a full-sized stuffed grizzly bear.
Commenting on the incident, front man Johnny Rocker states, "He does what he wants, and everyone just kind of lets him."
Founding member, Scott Theis, applauds Justino's courage and charisma. "When you're hot, you're hot", said Theis, who is also hot, because he's hot.
Bassist, Mike "Cowboy" Delp, the closest member in on-stage proximity to Justino simply displayed a look of disgust when Justino, scantily clad, began to scale the mighty grizzly.
Perhaps the most animated reaction was from Jeff "Brik" Brikowski, who waved his arm in a lasso motion toward Justino, and exclaimed, "Heeyaa!"
Finally, wiping the sweat from his forehead, sound technician Lou Cassis expresses in a tone of relief, "Boy, am I glad those boxers have a button on them. Last Friday wasn't pretty."
Despite requests from club owners and his mother, Justino pledges to continue on with such obscenities because, "it just wouldn't be fair to the fans."
Lucky Number 7
As we celebrate the New Year, we would like to thank all of our friends and fans that have been with us the past seven years. We appreciate the opportunities you have given us to play for you, and the support you have shown. The first time many of you saw Johnny Rocker & The High Rollers was at small town venues like The Firehouse in Mt. Horeb, or The Riley Tavern in Verona. This year, we will be revisiting many of the small clubs we started in, while also playing bigger shows than ever before! We hope to see you all frequently in 2010. Rest up! The weekends were made for High Rollin'!
Very Sincerely,
Johnny, Justino, Jeff, Mike, and Scott
